Interview with OPE “Head of Writers” Thomas Vorwerk
(conducted on 34th of February, 2008)
Q: Hi Thomas. Since last we spoke, you have had bestowed upon you the prestigious title of “Head of Writers” for the Organized Play Europe. What exactly does that encompass?
A: If only I knew! Thorsten Wanek, one of the few and elite European TCC-members ...
Q: Yeah, heard of him ...
A: Well, sometime around Christmas, when the whole TCC-thing still seemed rather vague to us mere mortals ... he already wanted to “volunteer” me, but back then I could still escape. A month or so later he got me, and now I am more or less responsible in organizing (i. e., “volunteering”) the European writers like Tony Gammell, Johannes Klarhauser, Christian Zipper or Sebastian Kirstein into a steady flow of articles on www.open-cards.de to promote the next European Championship and Organized Play Europe in general.
Q: Do you possess any special talents that may have moved Thorsten to choose you, of all people?
A: Well, actually I used black magic to put an imperius curse on him ... Nah, Thorsten should have known I’m about the worst organizer you can think of - but I can make that up with working well under strict deadlines. Also, I’m a well-known writer and part of the whole German STCCG scene, and - like Johannes - also quite good in English (I should be, as I studied that ...), so it probably was a coin toss between Johannes and me - and Johannes obviously has other talents I don’t possess.
Q: Do you already have plans for your writing team?
A: Actually no. When I agreed to take up this position I made it clear to Thorsten that the whole month of February is basically planned through for me - with the Berlin film festival and my second-to-last major obstacle in my academic career (well behind me by now), so I just agreed to try to think up two interviews till March - one of which is now happening as we speak. I assume that Thorsten will bestow me with several new things to do as soon as March has arrived and my title will be officially announced.
Q: Are you satisfied with TCC so far?
A: Well, basically yes, of course. They run things much more smoothly than Decipher did even at the height of their involvement in the game. The only thing that irks me a bit is that those boys are ever so eager to be just as “earnest” about the game as a multinational conglomerate. Too many rules like all that “leveling” of judges. Some things seem too bureaucratic to me - and the paramilitaristic aspect of Star Trek (the series) always was a thorn in my eye. Instead of negotiating who is “admiral” in which “region” (this indirectly also refers to my own prestigious “title”), all that energy should have been channeled directly into the game. Some of you may have noticed that in light of some of these tendencies I have developed a “dark side” by now ...
Q: I presume you are referring to the infamous “Fishman”? How did he come about?
A: Well, I was minding my own business - and everybody else’s - when Borgified Tribble (that’s also me) got bashed badly by some people who had absolutely no sense of humor - and who wanted to lecture me about some details I take little to no interest in. So I made up “Fishman” in a moment of anger (I would have thunk of another name if I had taken more time for this) and infiltrated the group with a very antagonistic approach - for example I made fun of other people’s avatars. Some of these people just changed their avatars to escape a possible conflict, some stood above the whole thing, and some others probably were too dumb to even notice the whole thing. The problem was - and is - that by now “Fishman” is much more active in those TCC-waters than my “official” namesake, but I can live with that.
Q: What’s the story behind your current avatar?
A: Well, if you can’t figure that out, I won’t explain it. Before this interview is published I may have changed my avatar two or three times, so the main point of that “Fishman”-nonsense is: avatars and signatures don’t stay - I can change “history” every time I bloody like to. And as soon as someone pisses me off, I will probably “remake” his or her avatar and thus make my feelings known indirectly without having to say: “that guy is such a blow-hard.”
Q: But I noticed that Fishman sometimes also is quite polite and even helpful ...
A: Well, I can’t help it, it’s just part of my nature. Since I’m Fishman more often than Borgified Tribble by now, I can’t just be all about “poison” each time I’m Fishman. Fishman is not me on a bad day, Fishman is just me trying to be clever and clandestine - and sometimes I’m too tired to be the bad little fishy.
Q: Anything else you want to add?
A: Actually, no. I’m really tired and can only warn everybody to never conduct such an interview in the dead of night just to make it to some deadline.
Q: Thanks for talking to us.
A: Yeah, anytime. But now get the heck out of here!